Nobody Sees When You Are Lying In Your Bed, And I Wanna Crawl In With You, But I Cry Instead…

Daniel seemed exhausted after the fact. As if the weight of the unfortunate news had physically weighed down on him by an unflinching force. I didn’t do much consoling beyond listening and just being there with him. We barely moved from the bedroom; well, he barely moved. I encouraged him to be with his mother, but at this point it was like my words had fallen on deaf ears. Whenever we got hungry or thirsty, I hopped into the kitchen to fix us something. Daniel barely ate. Barely drank. Barely was Daniel right now. It took him a few hours, but eventually he dragged himself down into the living room, with seemingly bright eyes and a positive demeanour (although I, and Jade of course, knew all too well) and sat with his mother. They enjoyed each other while I was fixing tea for the both of them.

“You’re a lovely girl, Anna,” Jade said as I handed her her tea.

I blushed. “Thank you.”

“How’s my boy treating you,” she brushed Daniel’s shoulder.

I looked at his tired eyes straining to open for dear life. “He’s wonderful,” I smiled.

Jade looked at Daniel with such a proud grin and held his hand. Jade butterfly indeed; even when she is sick she is comforting others. It takes a strong woman to be the way she is right now. I admired her strength and courage, and could only wish that I could possess half of that one day.

We ended up watching Ever After. A sappy chick-lit by nature but, as it turns out, is one of Jade’s favourite movies. She has good taste. The movie has everything, humour, love, compassion, good actors (Anjelica Houston, hello!), and above all, hope. Good choice indeed. By the time the movie had ended we were all yawning with watering eyes. It looked like Daniel didn’t want to leave his mother’s side (and neither did I if I was honest with myself). We all eventually gave in though, and as we parted when Jade entered her room, and we entered ours, it felt a little less heartbreaking than yesterday. I was glad for the change, yet still saddened by the impending inevitable. I shook my head violently in an effort to whisk the thought from my mind before going to bed with Daniel.

For some reason, I didn’t get to sleeping until like, an hour later or something. I woke up in the middle of the night, to my tossing and turning, and realising that the half next to me was empty. And cold. Empty for a while it seemed. I pushed the blankets off and then started quietly wandering, so as not to wake or startle anyone, down the hallway and stairs. When I started hearing voices, and those voices started picking up in volume as I got closer in range, my heart started thumping. I pushed my dark hair back behind my ear and tuned it to the quiet rumblings. The only reason I began feeling uneasy about the voices was because I knew, and I didn’t know how, but I knew that the male’s was Daniel’s…but the female’s wasn’t Jade’s. Sneakily, like a panther, I positioned myself on the side of the high cabinet behind the wall that separated the kitchen and the living room with an entrance on either side.

“…I’m just saying, we were great, and I really miss it,” the woman said.

Daniel sighed. “This isn’t right.”

“What is right?” a man said. I didn’t know there was another person there so he took me by surprise. “Tanya is offering you something that will help the entire family. Don’t be selfish, Daniel.”

“It’ll only help you, father,” Daniel said. I could hear the words being aggressively delivered as he spoke with such clarity. As if he didn’t want any room for interpretation at the fact that he was angry.

The man huffed a chuckle and then began walking. I nearly shat myself because I had no idea which way he was walking, but I knew he was coming my way because the steps were becoming louder and clearer. Thankfully, he exited through the other side of the wall. Thank Jeebus for rich houses with a gazillion entrances and exits! Just sayin’.

“I don’t want to sound heartless or anything,” Daniel began, “but I’m going through something right now, and I just need you to back the fuck off.” He said it so genuinely that oddly enough it managed to not sound malicious at all.

Tanya chortled. “I’m not trying to make your life difficult. I’m making it easier for you.”

“What about John?”

“What about John?” Tanya replied.

Daniel laughed humourlessly. “Jeez, what are you? LeAnn Rimes double the disloyalty? Why do you do this to people?”

“Look,” Tanya said, “I knew I made a mistake a while ago. Everything was going well until I saw you again, with that girlfriend of yours—”

“—Anna,” he said quickly. “Her name is Anna.”

I smiled.

“Anyway,” Tanya continued, “it just made me realise how much I love you.”

“Either way, I don’t want to be stuck with John’s baby so, no thanks.”

“I thought so, which is why I had an abortion.”


“No, I’m in love.” Tanya stretched out the word ‘no’ like a psychopathic serial killer trying to convince her hostage that she had good intentions. I’m not into calling girls psychos, but shit, this girl can put Manson to shame.

Suddenly I heard the light suction of lips being pressed together to create a kiss. My smile dropped and my eyes widened. Hearing another girl (an ex-girlfriend, nonetheless!) kiss my boyfriend was killing me. I was two inches away from them and that…that…thing was kissing the man I’m in love with! My fingers curled into a fist and my body heated up from my rage against her. I had to constantly remind myself where I was and who I was here for to avoid any regrettable actions. Breathe in through the nose, I told myself, and out through the mouth. The kiss lasted longer than I cared to let it, but eventually, mercy was shown upon me and they released their locked (tightly locked!) lips.

“Don’t you miss that? Miss us?” Tanya asked. Her voice arrogant.

Daniel chuckled. “I have missed you once,” he said, “but that was a long, long time ago. I don’t miss you anymore. I love Anna. She was the only one who cared to bring me back to life after you destroyed it. I thought I was happy before her, but now, I know I am.”

Silence. My cheeks rose as I smiled and my fist finally loosened.

“Just because my father made illegal investments,” Daniel continued smoothly, “does not inspire me to suffer as your husband for the rest of my life.”

Burn after shock; exit cue, and Daniel was stepping towards the same exit as Richard. I thought so at least.

“What about for your mother?” Tanya asked, spitting out the venomous suggestion that stopped Daniel in his tracks. I didn’t hear him turn. “Would you be with me for your mother? Who will help with all the treatments? They will cost a fortune, baby. Do you think you can handle your mother’s cancer and your father’s legal issues? Your family fortune is going south; I know you need me. And I know you know that too. Be with Anna, and your mother won’t live; be with me, and she just might have a chance. Think about that, Daniel. Most of all, don’t be so fucking selfish.”

Tanya clicked away, out of the house, in her heels. I nearly threw up hearing that. I always assumed that Tanya was misguided, led by a conniving Richard. Listening to her now, after witnessing her harsh words, I never expected she would be capable of such cruelty.

I forgot Daniel had been there since he hadn’t moved since Tanya shocked him into immobilisation (much like myself. I feared my heart was audible in its drumming), but after a long moment had passed, he began shuffling out of the room and up the stairs. When he finally realises that I’ve gone, he’ll come looking for me. And as I slide down onto the floor, huddled on the ground, afraid that I might break, he’ll find me soon enough. He’ll find me, in my shaking vulnerability, with tears streaming from eyes wide in shock, down my cheeks.


29 thoughts on “Nobody Sees When You Are Lying In Your Bed, And I Wanna Crawl In With You, But I Cry Instead…

  1. Good post.. I have to say it though I hate Tanya and I hope that Daniel doesn’t go that route.. I like Anna and Daniel together I want them to be together a little longer I don’t want this crazy to break them up just yet.. I can’t wait to see what happens next when Daniel finds Anna in the living room.. Good Story keep up the good work..

  2. Wow! Just wow! Tanya is worse than awful! I know Daniel loves his mom but how far does one really go? Sounds like he would be selling his soul to the devil. That’s an awful predicament he’s in but hopefully he’ll stay with Anna and let the chips fall. I would think his mom would be disappointed if she knew he lost himself to controlling/demented Tanya. Oh I shudder to think how awful life w Tanya would be….

  3. This is so sad. I adore Daniel and Anna together. I wish something miraculous happens and he finds another way to pay for his mom’s treatments. Tanya is disgusting and I would hate to see such a good-hearted guy like Daniel have to suffer and be miserable with her. I’m literally praying that Anna and Daniel work through this so badly. My heart would break for both of them if they had to split because of this, especially knowing how much they love each other. Plus, they’re relationship is just starting to get stronger and I was really hoping we could see them stick it out a little longer. I would be disappointed if they broke up, I just feel like it’s too soon to write their relationship off from the story. Ugh, and Richard is such a shitty father and Tanya is just as much a shitty person. Daniel deserves so much better. Jade is so sweet, and I agree with Amy, I don’t think she would let Daniel put himself through misery if she ever found out about this. Sunday seems soooo far away, I can’t wait until the next post! This was such a good post!

    1. Thank you!

      So sad. Feels like having something stuck in your throat, and you can’t feel your own body type of sad. I know this sounds weird but I hope it gets better. I’m reading just as much as I’m writing!

      Soul xo

  4. Nooooo, please don’t break them up!! I wouldn’t be able to stand it if Daniel had to endure being with Tanya. She is just downright awful and he does not deserve that at all!!! You have to keep Daniel and Anna together pleaseee!! I don’t want to see them break up just yet!! I was really looking forward to reading more about them being in love 😦 By the way, just out of curiosity, is Daniel an only child? It seems like he is, but I don’t remember if it was actually ever mentioned or not.

    1. Aww, we’ll see what the future holds but I can’t make any promises. I’ll try to include details about whether Daniel is an only child or not in the coming posts.

      Soul xo

  5. Nooooooo! I gave a severe dislike for Tanya. Who plays the sick mother card?! I so hope Daniel doesn’t play into her hand, his mother wouldn’t want him to sacrifice his happiness for her. Please don’t let Daniel and Anna break up!

      1. Daniel’s mother is the sweetest most refreshing person in his life. The reason Daniel turned out pretty good is because of her so she means a lot to him. It’s going to be a hard decision. I just hope I don’t disappoint any readers (including myself!).

        Soul xo

  6. Oh no, poor Daniel, he loves his mother so much who knows what he’ll do.
    Tanya is pretty vicious, no wonder his dad wants to them together, she’s the money now. Really complex story, so good!

    1. Thank you!

      I’m so glad the readers are seeing the story all start to come together, and why Richard was so keen on getting them together. I was surprised that I didn’t see anyone theorize the possibility that his mind may still be stuck in the 50s!

      Soul xo

  7. I know he loves his mom so much and I get the feeling that he’s going to leave anna for Tanya but I will be do heartbroken if he does. I am glad that Daniel gets to see how Tanya truly is instead of the woman he had been in love with for so long that he thought was perfect.

  8. My other thought is: is Richard being truthful? Did he really make some bad investments or is this just another plan to get Daniel to hook up w Tanya? I wouldn’t put anything past ‘daddy’!! If I was Daniel, I’d be investigating!!

    Please don’t put Tanya & Daniel together!! That would just be horrible!!

  9. Literally disgusted. Tanya is so pathetic. To just have an abortion like that. SO SELFISH. To be such a spoiled bitch that you would want to be with someone who very obviously is love with someone else. She’s on a total ego trip and has money to back her up. Richard is a complete dick who uses his own flesh & blood to get what he wants. I hope sweet Jade was somewhere in the wings, also listening to the interaction. I hope she steps in and guides Daniel to follow his heart. Ugh, this post seriously made me sick to my stomach. I know it’s fiction, but I’m also sure this shit happens in real life. mum

    1. Your comment is really passionate, I love it! And I have to agree with everything you say. It’s almost like Tanya and Mr. Dick-less should be together. This may sound strange, but I never expected to write Tanya to be so heartless. And it’s true, people like her do exist, it’s unfortunate really 😦 Jade is the only good person in Daniel’s life, which is why he’d drop everything whenever she needed him.

      Soul xo

  10. First time commenting! I love your blog so much! I especially love Anna and Daniel! I’m praying this plays out in some way that benefits Daniel, Anna and Daniels mom! Daniels mom does not deserve those two meanies in her life!! I might be wrong, but doesn’t Anna come from a family of money (doctors?) so it’s not like she’s poor and has absolutely nothing to offer. Not that in anyway Daniel would expect that from Anna.

    1. Thank you so so much! I love readers who comment for the first time! I haven’t actually explained Anna’s family situation but if you’d like I could try squeezing it somewhere in coming posts. Hope I see (read) more of you!

      Soul xo

      1. Thank you for replying! It’s not something you have to put in if you weren’t planning on it! 🙂 I may be thinking of another blog i read that ended! You’re such a great writer and I love how you’re so willing to listen to us!

      2. Hey, Kris – I bet you’re thinking of New York Dixie. Her parents are anesthesiologists, I think, which is why she lives the way she does while going to school.

        So many good blogs have started up in the past few months, I find myself getting confused as well. mum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s