As You Wish

***Hi everyone! Here’s the BONUS post (2 previous commenters asked for it!). Literary speaking, this is one of my favourites, and I hope you enjoy the writing also! This might be a short piece to some but I hope the writing is packed with enough quality to delight your spirits! Enjoy! xo***

When Daniel placed his lips onto mine, all rationale exited from my mind, and I had nothing but emotion steering the ship on this stormy sea. As I had remembered, his lips were soft and sucking on mine at just the right times. Only, there was a new kind of urgency between us. A hunger. A long lost feeling of two people sharing a kiss with all the desperate intensity of the heart’s unyielding duty to feed the body. My back remained plastered on the fridge, creating a huge contrast between the rising temperatures of my body and that of the coolness behind me. Daniel had only his hands on my waist, so I was the first one to wrap mine around his neck and pull him into me with reassurance.

Then, with a clouding of hesitance and anxiety, I gently pushed him away, as if I were kissing a stranger I hadn’t spoken to. We stared at each other with lazy, hazy eyes. There was always this way with Daniel, he had a way with me that I could never explain. It was almost as if we were the modern living interpretation of ‘The Two Fridas’ by Frida Khalo. It didn’t help that the painting was practically a recording of Khalo’s emotions after the divorce from her husband. For me, it felt similar and different to the painting at the same time. For the moment, Daniel and I were connected, and for the moment we were in pain.

Another wave of emotions began seeping out of our orifices, taking control of the nerves it passed in our bodies, and we started up again. Without word or warning, Daniel leaned in and kissed me. I didn’t stop him. His tongue swam with mine; a flash of Samantha’s face flickered across my mind and in unconscious response I bit Daniel’s tongue. Daniel flinched backwards and then gazed at me in bewilderment. I could only shrug.

“Are you alright?” Daniel asked in a whisper when I didn’t say anything.

I nodded and smiled. “Yes.”

His lips feathered on mine softly, and then slowly but gradually, the urgency regained momentum. I hadn’t realised that my answer could have been both an answer to what I thought he asked, and also a subtle form of asking permission to continue.

His left hand then slid to my thigh, at the hem of the shorts, and then gently but surely, up and inside. Just then my back started stinging again, and I knew it was because of the blood rushing like the tides of that stormy sea. We’d lost control of this ship, and I had to get it back without stirring confusion.

I gently pushed Daniel away once again and he stood a foot back, knowing this time I was for real. His expression was a mixture of question, concern, and yearning; and like that of a warlock’s broth, he began to cast a spell on me. A power he always used to have on me, and that I always used to welcome with open arms (not to mention, open legs!). This time, though, it was different. And I wanted him to know that. More importantly, I wanted him to understand that.

With breaths slightly panting, I spoke first.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said.

I had no notion of where to start and what to say, but that was the closest I could come to verbalising any apprehensive feelings I had at the moment.

Daniel’s eyebrows angled. “Why not?”

“It doesn’t feel right,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Daniel,” I said. “What are you expecting out of this?”

Daniel shrugged. “We can work things out.”

Hesitantly, I shook my head. “I don’t think we can.”

“Why not?” Daniel huffed a chuckle. The absurdity of him asking that same question a third time touched him too.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” I struggled, “but this moment feels too forced and artificial. It feels like we’re trying to build a relationship again but it’s made of fragile glass, and we’re putting that glass in a box without the ‘handle with care’ warning, and batting it off to fate, hoping for the best.”

Daniel smiled and then brushed my raven coloured hair away from my face. “There’s no harm trying, though, right?”

“But there is harm.”

“How?”

I sighed, hoping that I didn’t need to voice this, but realising last minute I had to. “Because I don’t know if I can trust you.”

Daniel’s mouth twitched, and I could see his eyes slant and his brows pick up in disappointment. “How do I get it back? How do I get you back?”

I shook my head, letting water collect in the well of my eyes. “I don’t know.”

He held both of my hands in his. “You do know. Tell me. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

I tilted my head, and a tear fell out without my consent. “Daniel.”

He let go of my hands and then shrugged. “So that’s it?”

I wanted to say that that was it for now, but I didn’t want to give him false hope and leave him hanging. More importantly though, I didn’t want to give myself false hope and then fall flat on my face in the future.

“I don’t want to make it any harder for the both of us,” I said, “so I’ll just get my things and be on my way.”

Daniel stared at me, as if memorising my face in the slim time we had left, and then nodded. “As you wish.”

***

I don’t wanna be this woman

The second time around

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22 thoughts on “As You Wish

  1. I don’t comment on blogs.. EVER. But this was just amazing. Simply amazing. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading this. Thank you!

    1. Hi Anonymous!

      I’m so touched that you commented for the first time on my blog! I love reading comments so thank you! I hope I continue to make Anna’s story enjoyable for you (all)!

      Soul xo

  2. This really was great! Thank you for the bonus post! I definitely felt the emotion here. I had to chuckle at Daniel’s last words; it totally made me think of Princess Bride. 🙂

    1. Hi Nicole M!

      I’m so glad you caught that because that little relation wasn’t a coincidence! Think back to Princess Bride, do you remember “as you wish” having double meaning? That same double meaning is applied here; once you figure that out, this post will be all the more heartbreaking!

      Thanks for commenting!

      Soul xo

      P.S. I feel another bonus post on the horizon!

      1. I always thought it was so sweet that Westley saying “As you wish” in Princess Bride was his way of telling Princess Buttercup he loved her. But I didn’t even consider that Daniel was telling Anna he loved her by saying that! I should’ve put that together though given the title of the post. Most people don’t quote Princess Bride just for the sake of it. Lol nicely done. 🙂

  3. Thank you so much for the bonus, loved it! Hands down best blog ever ❤ So many mixed emotions right now, but I think Anna did the right thing.

  4. I’m so torn. At first I loved Daniel but now, I don’t know. But I still like him better then Will… And then there’s Adam. Ahhh your blog just sucks me in!

    1. Hi Kait!

      I still love Daniel and Adam; maybe Will is more like an acquired taste! I really like his daughter though! So glad to read you’re enjoying this blog that much!

      Thank you for commenting!

      Soul xo

  5. This was absolutely amazing. I am so glad that Anna had the courage and strength to be able to do what is right and best for her. Although I am sad to see Daniel go, the way that things ended makes it alright and much less sad.

    1. Hi Lulu!

      It was such a sad time when they broke up initially, and I didn’t want a heavy repeat here; so I’m very much pleased to read that Anna is courageous and strong, and that you support her decision! But Daniel really wants Anna back, so maybe he’s not going just yet…

      Thank you for commenting!

      Soul xo

  6. Oh my goodness!! That was such and emotional rollercoaster of a post! I have to admit, I still am favouring Daniel…..but I do think for right now she did the right thing. She wouldn’t be able to fully trust him. But he will always have a piece of her heart, and she will still love him in some small way. Maybe one day that will grow, especially if she moves to NYC. I swear I will be re-reading this again tonight because I was reading it on public transit and was not going to cry….

    1. Hi B!

      It’s such a pleasure to read that you’re so enthralled with Anna’s story! I don’t know what the future holds between Anna and Daniel, but we’ll see! Daniel may even be so compelled to drop her a visit…

      Thanks for commenting!

      Soul xo

  7. Loved this post! =) I definitely think anna did the right thing, daniel kept too much from her & now he just seems untrustworthy, she deserves so much better…I’m kind of hoping she gives adam a chance, I really liked him

    1. Hi trish!

      Oh, I wonder if people are starting to favour Adam over Daniel. Glad you enjoyed the post, I hope future posts continue the enjoyment!

      Thanks for commenting!

      Soul xo

    1. Hi Kris!

      Oh my gosh, I’m amazed that my writing and the story as moved you so, but I’m also so incredibly touched! Sending you a virtual hug now!

      Thanks for commenting!

      Soul xo

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