***Hi everyone! Here’s the BONUS post (2 previous commenters asked for it!). Literary speaking, this is one of my favourites, and I hope you enjoy the writing also! This might be a short piece to some but I hope the writing is packed with enough quality to delight your spirits! Enjoy! xo***
When Daniel placed his lips onto mine, all rationale exited from my mind, and I had nothing but emotion steering the ship on this stormy sea. As I had remembered, his lips were soft and sucking on mine at just the right times. Only, there was a new kind of urgency between us. A hunger. A long lost feeling of two people sharing a kiss with all the desperate intensity of the heart’s unyielding duty to feed the body. My back remained plastered on the fridge, creating a huge contrast between the rising temperatures of my body and that of the coolness behind me. Daniel had only his hands on my waist, so I was the first one to wrap mine around his neck and pull him into me with reassurance.
Then, with a clouding of hesitance and anxiety, I gently pushed him away, as if I were kissing a stranger I hadn’t spoken to. We stared at each other with lazy, hazy eyes. There was always this way with Daniel, he had a way with me that I could never explain. It was almost as if we were the modern living interpretation of ‘The Two Fridas’ by Frida Khalo. It didn’t help that the painting was practically a recording of Khalo’s emotions after the divorce from her husband. For me, it felt similar and different to the painting at the same time. For the moment, Daniel and I were connected, and for the moment we were in pain.
Another wave of emotions began seeping out of our orifices, taking control of the nerves it passed in our bodies, and we started up again. Without word or warning, Daniel leaned in and kissed me. I didn’t stop him. His tongue swam with mine; a flash of Samantha’s face flickered across my mind and in unconscious response I bit Daniel’s tongue. Daniel flinched backwards and then gazed at me in bewilderment. I could only shrug.
“Are you alright?” Daniel asked in a whisper when I didn’t say anything.
I nodded and smiled. “Yes.”
His lips feathered on mine softly, and then slowly but gradually, the urgency regained momentum. I hadn’t realised that my answer could have been both an answer to what I thought he asked, and also a subtle form of asking permission to continue.
His left hand then slid to my thigh, at the hem of the shorts, and then gently but surely, up and inside. Just then my back started stinging again, and I knew it was because of the blood rushing like the tides of that stormy sea. We’d lost control of this ship, and I had to get it back without stirring confusion.
I gently pushed Daniel away once again and he stood a foot back, knowing this time I was for real. His expression was a mixture of question, concern, and yearning; and like that of a warlock’s broth, he began to cast a spell on me. A power he always used to have on me, and that I always used to welcome with open arms (not to mention, open legs!). This time, though, it was different. And I wanted him to know that. More importantly, I wanted him to understand that.
With breaths slightly panting, I spoke first.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said.
I had no notion of where to start and what to say, but that was the closest I could come to verbalising any apprehensive feelings I had at the moment.
Daniel’s eyebrows angled. “Why not?”
“It doesn’t feel right,” I said.
“Daniel,” I said. “What are you expecting out of this?”
Daniel shrugged. “We can work things out.”
Hesitantly, I shook my head. “I don’t think we can.”
“Why not?” Daniel huffed a chuckle. The absurdity of him asking that same question a third time touched him too.
“I don’t know how to explain it,” I struggled, “but this moment feels too forced and artificial. It feels like we’re trying to build a relationship again but it’s made of fragile glass, and we’re putting that glass in a box without the ‘handle with care’ warning, and batting it off to fate, hoping for the best.”
Daniel smiled and then brushed my raven coloured hair away from my face. “There’s no harm trying, though, right?”
“But there is harm.”
I sighed, hoping that I didn’t need to voice this, but realising last minute I had to. “Because I don’t know if I can trust you.”
Daniel’s mouth twitched, and I could see his eyes slant and his brows pick up in disappointment. “How do I get it back? How do I get you back?”
I shook my head, letting water collect in the well of my eyes. “I don’t know.”
He held both of my hands in his. “You do know. Tell me. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I tilted my head, and a tear fell out without my consent. “Daniel.”
He let go of my hands and then shrugged. “So that’s it?”
I wanted to say that that was it for now, but I didn’t want to give him false hope and leave him hanging. More importantly though, I didn’t want to give myself false hope and then fall flat on my face in the future.
“I don’t want to make it any harder for the both of us,” I said, “so I’ll just get my things and be on my way.”
Daniel stared at me, as if memorising my face in the slim time we had left, and then nodded. “As you wish.”