***Decided to put the second post of this week up early. I might do that often so let me know if you do (or don’t) mind the uploads to be earlier than the scheduled time! Thanks for reading! Enjoy! xo***
The first time I met Will and went back to his place, I threw up and passed out a couple of times. The second time is now, and I had hoped it would be smooth sailing after that unfortunate chilli attack. But no, my luck gauge must have been all dried out, because while Will and I were both in the backseat, the driver hit a pothole in the road hard and I bounced up and down drastically; when that happened, one of my boobs popped out. I hadn’t even realised the sudden change of cool air on my chest was the fact that my breast was exposed until I saw Will snickering and hell bent on trying to tame himself. He covered his mouth while he pointed at me and said I was revealing a little more than my low-tolerance for chilli. I was mortified. By the time we got to his place, there was nothing to do besides laugh and make fun of my antics that revolved around Will.
“I got to say,” Will started, “this has been one of the most interesting dates I’ve ever been on.”
“I think your apartment is cursed,” I joked.
“Yeah, it can’t be the alcohol or the chilli or the pothole,” Will said with mock seriousness. “It’s totally this place. Maybe I should move.”
I nodded in agreement. “You should move. I’ll show you how to pick ‘em next time.”
Will stared at me, and I sensed the playful attitude phasing out; though his smile was still sweet. “Will there be a next time?”
Will had been nothing but gracious since the moment I met him, but I still felt, I don’t know, indifferent? I didn’t know what was holding me back, but I knew I couldn’t find the right word. Indifferent wasn’t right, but it was the first word to come to mind. It was almost like my feelings were locked in a box and buried in mud; I clawed at it, Will was clawing at it, but there was still no sign of it. We both felt it there, unmoving and waiting, beneath muddy waters; so it only seemed natural that perhaps a bit of Muddy Waters played on the trumpet could coax it out.
When Will played the trumpet, the world was still and silent. The only sounds were coming from the instrument, and the only people were Will and I. I didn’t imagine in a million years that he’d be bad; but I couldn’t have imagined in a million years, he’d be this good. Will skilfully mastered each note, doing the jazz greats proud. I could only watch in complete awe. I sat leaning on the back of the couch, and Will, all the while, hadn’t looked at me once. He was concentrating so hard that it almost felt like, regardless of my presence, in his mind, everything around him blurred.
When he ceased, slowly fading out, he then looked at me as if noticing me for the first time. I didn’t know what to say, I actually wanted him to keep playing until I slipped into a slumber. It literally feels like he could cast a spell on every man, woman and child by simply playing those sweet tunes.
As faux simple as his skills seem to appear, he shrugged and, equally simply, said, “Anyway, I’ve got both Casablanca and The Lion King. What do you want to watch?”
“Umm,” I shook my head, trying to adjust to the sudden change in the atmosphere and get back down to reality, “that was beautiful. It was incredible.”
Will smiled sheepishly and turned his head down, looking up through his lashes. “Thank you.” It was half way between a bow and a curtsy.
I nodded. “So, what movie do you suggest?”
“It’s hard to say, they’re both really good.”
I shrugged. “Casablanca, then.”
“Cutthroat decision making; I love it,” Will joked.
After he put on Casablanca, we got cosy on the couch. Will wrapped his arm around me and let me get in and get warm next to his body. He took off his jacket when we got here, only wearing his shirt, so it was easier for him to manoeuvre.
“Should we turn it down?” I asked.
“Because we might wake up Kayla.”
Will smiled. “Kayla’s back with her mother in New York.”
It was the first time Will had mention any other partner; even if not by name, it was still unnerving. Treading on personal territory of past relationships was probably the one thing I didn’t know how to go about talking about or reacting to. So when Will mentioned, if only briefly, his ex, I stiffened in response and became very quiet. It was hard to say but I was trying to think of what else I could say to lead the conversation and not make it obvious that I was hit from left of centre.
“Oh,” I said. I inwardly rolled my eyes, thinking how much of a stupid reply that was. Like, honestly, if there was any exact obvious way of knowing what I was trying to hide, I just blew it.
“Oh?” Will laughed.
“Sorry I just don’t know what else to say,” I admitted.
Will rubbed my shoulder and smiled. “It’s okay.”
“Do you…” I began after a brief silence, “get along with her?”
Was that a question I can ask at this stage?
Will nodded calmly, as if this was a two-plus-two-equals-what quiz he was answering. “We got along a lot better separated than we were together. She’s a great mother; and somehow, after everything, we managed to work out what to do with Kayla without the courts getting too involved.”
“And that is…?” I prodded.
Will cleared his throat. “She keeps her for most of the time and I try and make time. I’m still trying to get the hang of it, oddly enough.”
Will said that as if it were a shameful confession, but I thought it was refreshing to hear a man be so honest. It was like jazz music to my ears.
“Seeing her more often now?” I asked.
“Oh definitely,” Will said. “I missed most of her childhood. I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I ever missed anymore of her life. Kayla is my world.”
“That’s really sweet.”
Will chuckled. “You’re taking everything awfully coolly. Our age difference, the fact that I have a daughter; should I be worried?”
I laughed and shook my head. “No need. I think I just need to hear you out; and what you’ve got to say ain’t all that bad. Does she, your ex-partner, know about me?”
Will shook his head. “I think I want to be sure for myself before I make any big moves.”
“Sure of what?” my heart thudded at the imminence of that certain something approaching from the horizon.
I didn’t want to the thought to enter my mind because I didn’t want to think that Will was the kind of guy to get serious so fast. But the more I thought about his age, his daughter, where he was at in life, the more I knew that he wasn’t looking around to just fool around anymore. He was passed that stage. He was a father; and I had to imprint that word into my mind over and over again to make sure, for myself, before I make any big moves of my own.
Will sighed and intertwined his hands with mine. “Sure that…you’re watching Casablanca.”
I huffed a little laugh and then turned to the screen. When Bogart and Bergman began spending all their time together in Paris, falling in love and being in love, Will squeezed me closer into him. I looked at him to find him staring at my lips, and eyes, and back again. I wondered as I looked into his eyes, if for at least the moment, I could forget about everything. Could Will take me away and make all around me as blurred and faded out as when he was playing the trumpet with simply a kiss? Could he transport me to another time? Another place? To Paris?
Will leaned down and placed his lips gently on mine. They were big and soft and plump, everything I didn’t know I loved until I met him. His fingers delicately hugged my neck until his palm made home there, pulling me in closer. I started lying back down on the couch, and Will crawled on top of me. I was craving him even more once I felt how hard he was. For this length of time our strange relationship has remained I’m surprised we hadn’t gotten to the point of sex long ago. It was always almost. Almost sex here and almost sex there, like two little birds playfully rounding each other as they flew in the sky; back and forth, back and forth.
Everything was going fine and I really wanted this to happen. My legs were practically shaking with eagerness. When Will started to insert his hand under my dress though, feeling for my thong, it happened like a tumbling of rocks. A loud SNAP in my mind erupted and everything flashed before my eyes. Will, Kayla, the ex, and most of all, working under Will considering he was my boss at the agency. It all came rushing like a staccato of memories.
Will pulled back, smiling, brushing a piece of hair away from my face and then stood up. He then held out his hand for me to take, and I knew where he wanted us to take this. I had never really been in a relationship with a co-worker, let alone a boss, before; so it was only natural that I wondered, among other things, if we could we really work out. If I went through with this, I could never go back, and that’s what made me rethink our situation the most.
With a breath pulled in then out, I took Will’s hand.