While I Was Sleeping

I told Daniel everything and he was pissed. Of course he was pissed, what else was I expecting? He was more disappointed in me about the whole Derek situation. And there was no way for me to sugar coat by saying that I didn’t sleep with him, as if that was going to help things; for the simple fact that I saw him, spoke to him, acknowledged him even, Daniel was mad. He didn’t have to say it, it was more the look in his eyes; that gradual rise of unblinking displeasure. His hand twitching; his face wincing; flickering channels turned on and off of memories he was sure we were over and done with. That dip in his brow crawling up unnoticed on his face, that at first I didn’t see how angry he really was, until I stopped speaking took him in.

His mouth was closed tight, staring at me; but his breaths were heavy and prominent. Then he batted his eyelids. “Is…that all?”

I nodded. In the hot seat on the sofa, Daniel came to sit down with me, holding my hands, and then gradually letting go, steeling back. There was no other sounds but us and the streets. “I’m sorry,” I said, for the forty-billionth time that it almost held no meaning at this point, however sincere I meant it.

He shook his head once, turning his gaze onto the floor. Quiet. Absolutely quiet, the silence was killing me. “Anna,” he sighed.

“I know,” I let my head go limp, staring at my hands folded over my lap, one hand still clutching the plastic bag.

“No you don’t,” he said, voice stern and dry. “I thought we were passed this—”

“We are—”

“I thought you knew what kind of guy he was and I thought—I thought—what the fuck!?”

I remained silent.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” he asked. “You don’t have to have every guy you come across like you.”

I stood, half-offended. “I know that.” It wasn’t just about wanting guys to like me.

He shot up facing me. “You keep saying that, but it’s been forever and you still haven’t changed! Ugh, not what I mean.”

I staggered. If I wasn’t changed, if neither of us were, then what did they say about the future of our relationship?

“I—I wasn’t thinking,” I struggled.

He huffed a humourless laugh. “Now that’s exactly what a boyfriend wants to hear, that their partner wasn’t even thinking of them.”

“I was dazed. I—I—“

He snatched the plastic bag from my hand. “Give that back. I didn’t even want you to look at this now. And why would you freak out that’s such a huge insult to me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” I said, raising my voice, feeling guiltier and guiltier.

“Look,” he sighed, “you can’t just replace Adam with anybody. You’re so desperate for another best friend as great as he was but you won’t find it in Derek. And sorry for loving you so much I want to marry you one day. I’ll try and tone down the crazy.”

“Daniel,” I called after when he walked off, “Daniel wait. Please?”

“No, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I want you to get a restraining order or just never speak to Derek again. I’m going to use my controlling boyfriend powers right now and tell you to never see him again. I feel that this is an appropriate opportunity to draw that card.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

“I’m serious, Anna.”

“Okay,” I said.

He threw the bag on the bed and then placed his hands on his hips, avoiding my eye line. I wanted him to look at me, I wanted to read his face to see if there was something I could do or say but all I got was his profile. I felt like if I said any more I would have damaged the situation further, so I just waited for him to speak.

“I’m going to go for a walk,” he finally said.

“Okay,” I muttered, “I’ll come with?”

“No,” he turned, eyes dark still, grabbing a jacket and walking to the door. “On my own.”

We stood at the doorway. “When are you coming back?”

He shrugged. “Soon.” He looked like he just picked a word out and threw it in the air without notice.

I subtly moved closer to him, to see if he was too mad that I couldn’t kiss him. He watched me with obvious attention, and I turned red at how silly I was being but I kept going. He shifted his weight and gently pushed me up against the wall, bring his lips down. He brushed his lips over my cheek, making me feel warmer and burning up nervously, and then pulled back. Leaving the house without even being able to plant a kiss.

That stung. My fault.

“Check the peephole before opening the door,” he voiced quietly, “just in case Derek comes knocking.” I nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

I waited for him all day, but he didn’t come back until night; while I was sleeping.

***Hi all! Here’s the new part to my WattPad story; check it out and I hope you enjoy! Soul xo***

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3 thoughts on “While I Was Sleeping

  1. I’m sorry but Anna has become so unlikeable in my opinion. Daniel is right. He deserves someone who knows what they want and doesn’t keep running from man to man. She’s ridiculous. Her behavior shows a very insecure, immature woman. I’m over her antics and then feeling guilty. She needs to grow up and fast.

  2. I don’t blame Daniel at all in this situation. Anna has messed up too many times with Derek in their relationship. It’s like a skipping record…

  3. omgosh, I’m away from my computer for a few days and this happens? wth is wrong with her?? she’s going to blow it. mum

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