In My Own Way

“So what do you think?”

I was showing Daniel around my apartment and the neighbourhood, oddly quiet outside for a New York area, and I was eagerly awaiting his reception. He scrunched his face this way and that, checking every nook and cranny of the place. I knew he was looking for a negative, and other than the place being small, it wasn’t too shabby.

“Mmmm…” he thought and shrugged, his hands still in his pockets. “It’s alright, I guess.”

“Just alright?” I slouched.

“Okay, it’s fantastic, you and Brains—”

“Brahms,” I corrected, trying not to laugh.

“—and Paul did an amazing job.” He looked so disheartened and put off by the place.

“I can see you’re not so enthusiastic about my leaving.”

“Not really, but I’m trying to imagine all the wonderful freedom of living on my own in my apartment and having to shuttle back and forth between apartments without a care in the world. As if we’re going back to the beginning of dating. Instead of looking at this place like a tomb to our love life.”

I bit my lip to stifle a giggle. “It’s nice to know you’re trying.”

“Meh,” he shrugged. “There’s no stopping you, I guess. When you put your mind to something…” he needn’t finish the sentence. “Can we go now?”

“What’s the rush?” I asked, taking his hand in mine.

“No rush, just…lunch.”

I smiled, blushing, going redder than red. “But I have something for you.”

Daniel eyed me, a soft smile slowly perking his lips. “What?” My uncontrollable blushing must have sparked an interest in him.

I chuckled. “I had hoped this would’ve been in a less cheesy way.”

“Well now I’m curious. Is it back door loving?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

I smacked him over his chest. “No, something a little more intimate.”

“What could be more intimate than my—”

“Uh-uh-uh,” I held up a finger to stop him. He laughed, then leaned in low to kiss my fingertip, and then my nose.

“What is it, then?”

I walked him over to the kitchen, which was like four steps away, and opened one of the cabinets up top. I pulled out a shoe box, purple and glittery. A memento from my childhood that used to house some burned CDs, a sea-shell necklace, a pocket sized red flannel puppy dog-faced notebook and a deck of cards. Now it housed a small leather box and an envelope.

I took out the small leather box first, clutching it in my sweaty palm. Daniel eyed it and straightened up, slightly titling his head to one side.

“We’ve been having a little rocky patches,” I started, “ what with the marriage thing and all, so I wanted you to know how much I love you, and how committed I am to this relationship, in my own way.” I opened the box and lifted the watch in between my fingertips. It was black leather banded, Swiss designed. Black onyx face, with modest-sized blue sapphires representing each hour; the face framed with silver. “As far as I understand, the blue sapphire represents love, commitment, and trust.” I fitted the thin slick watch on his wrist. “I was hoping it didn’t sound cheesy. And look,” I turned around and grabbed my own, “I got mine as a bracelet.” It was a thin silver chain, with one sapphire bead and one onyx bead, hanging loosely. “I wanted to make our own bracelet, kind of like the one of Jade’s that was passed down to her, and that you gave to me.”

When Daniel didn’t speak, just remained smiling and staring at the gifts and me, I stammered, thinking perhaps this was the cheesiest most awful thing to do. He was giving me no hints of whether he was liking this or not, and it made me so nervous.

“And the envelope?” Daniel asked, his voice smooth.

“Oh,” I breathed shakily, unsure of whether to show him or not, “it’s a list.”

I handed it to him, and he just kept staring at me, smiling. “A list of what?”

“Of…” I began stroking the kitchen counter, avoiding his gaze, “of why I want to marry you, too.”

Daniel chuckled and propped the envelope back into the box, grabbing my waist and pulling me in closer, urging me to look into his beautiful brown eyes. “You are amazing.”

I smiled. “I am?”

“This is beautiful, you’re beautiful. The gesture is amazing, how did you even find an amazing watch and bracelet to symbolise us so much?”

“I—I found it in an antique store. The watch only. I had the bracelet kind of made, but I didn’t have much money so I could only afford really tiny beads of—”

He kissed me, catching my breath, then pulled away. He shook his head in disbelief and rested his forehead over mine. “How did I end up with such an amazing girlfriend?”

I lifted my head up and pressed my lips against his, running my fingers through his hair, feeling his thumb against my cheek. We made out for so long that we completely forgot about lunch until my stomach started growling like a lion. Inevitably I turned red again.

Daniel laughed. “I can’t wait to read the list. I can’t believe you made one.”

I giggled at myself. “I hope you like it.”

“I’ll love it. I know I will because I love you.”

I hesitated. “Daniel, are you okay about me living in this apartment.”

“Hmmm…” he pondered, then smiling, “I’ll always want you to be with me, Anna, I’m selfish like that I guess, but if this is what you want then this is what you want. And I can only be happy that you’re happy.” In arms we walked out of my new apartment. “Come on, let’s go get a late lunch.”

Like ‘his’ or ‘hers’ towels, we had ‘his’ or ‘hers’ apartments, and we were excited.

***Hi all! My Wattpad – Part 8 is up, and right after it is Part 9! I’ll be re-writing this message in the next post as well! Phew, there’s so much going on and much more to come! Lots of Love, Soul xo!***

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8 thoughts on “In My Own Way

  1. I absolulely hate that anna is getting her own apartment. I think she is not fully committed to daniel and their relationship. This is definitely a step back and I can’t see anything good to come from it…. Ugh thanks for writing a blog that evokes so much emotion from me that I am actually annoyed with your characters!!

    1. Hi brittany!

      You never know; it could work out. Give it a shot. Daniel is! 😉

      And I’m not sure whether that last line is a compliment or not (I’ve actually been asking people lol) but, thanks? 🙂

      Thanks for commenting, keep on keeping and see you soon!

      Soul xo

        1. Hi Soul,
          Please do take it as a compliment! I have been reading your blog since around when you started and seeing the daniel/anna progression start stop and flutter has been an emotional rollercoaster. I think I feel so strongly about how anna is acting because I met my now husband 3 months before we married and I knew I could never get enough of him and wanted to share all our experiences together. Eight years later we are still incredibly happy. I am hoping Anna (though she is fictional) will find the one she can’t live without and want to spend every night sharing her bed.

          1. Hey brittany!

            Aww that is such a sweet comment! Anna is important to me, even though she is fictional, so I’m glad to see a reader find her, in some way or another, meaningful. And wow, what a great story of yours; I so rarely get to see a personal insight into my readers so thank you so much for telling me a bit of your story. So wonderful!

            To eight years and plenty more to come!

            Soul xo

  2. I loved this post! Thought that Anna’s gift and list for Daniel were so sweet!! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing – I can understand wanting to take things slowly and not feeling ready to get married yet. They have the rest of their lives! Plenty of time to enjoy adventures together and when they are mutually ready for that commitment, they can enjoy the next phase together too!

    Also thanks for the Wattpad link! Any chance you can make it a permanent link on the menu tab (like the link to Sam’s story)?

    1. Hey Amber!

      I’m glad you can see Anna’s side; moving out isn’t the end all be all, it’s just a moment she wants to experience in her life. And I’m just happy Daniel respects it, even though he doesn’t exactly agree. Sweet, guy!

      I must thank you as well for commenting on the article I wrote, you made my day! I’m trying to build a career in writing and editing and reader’s support is always so helpful and a huge compliment. Plus, I love sharing my endeavors with you guys; hoping for many more to come!

      I was actually thinking of making a tab for Wattpad, so I will take you up on your suggestion. And for taking the time to comment on my article, and for suggesting a page for Wattpad, I’ll be posting the next post on Wattpad the same time I upload CaliforniaSoulBlog’s next post!

      Thanks for commenting, keep on keeping and see you soon!

      Soul xo

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