Winning & Losing

In the days that had passed, Daniel and I avoided the butt-topic. More so him than me. I was revelling in him being somewhat uncomfortable or embarrassed, but I also didn’t want to push it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing him look up ‘anal for men’ on the internet, as if some otherworldly dimension had answers he’d appreciate. And I was at least lucky enough that he hadn’t completely shut down the idea on site. Then I’d be embarrassed. But we hadn’t had sex since and I was wondering if he was worried that I’d go in for the kill a little too soon. Which I wouldn’t, of course.

So then I brought the topic up. I had to.

“You know, it’s really pleasurable for men. I mean,” I shrugged, “it can be. I think so.”

Daniel peered up from his work with a puzzled look. “What can be?”

I sat across from him on the table he was hunched over, setting my feet on the sides of his chair. He leaned back. “What else can I be referring to but…?” I nudged my foot at his side and he rocked slightly, chuckling to himself.

“I’m not sure, Anna.”

“Is that a blush I see?”

“Okay,” he stood, “this isn’t funny.”


He closed his eyes when I ran my hand down into his boxers. “No,” he breathed, half-heartedly, as if he just remembered to say so.

I smiled and took out my hands, wrapping them around his waist. “Why not? I’m actually excited about this.”

He opened his eyes in surprise, and peered down at me. “You are?”

I nodded. “I want you to feel this—” squeezing his ass “—magnitude of pleasure.”

“Fucking hell,” he mumbled. “You would do that?”

“I’m more excited to experience turning you on that way than actually receiving.”

“That’s only because you’ve heard horror stories. I’m a gentle soul.”

I laughed. “Yes you are! Daniel, if you don’t want to do it, then, I’ll try receiving either way.”

“Huh? You will?”

I nodded.

Daniel smiled and then quickly dropped the wide grin. “No, I’ll do it.”

I straightened up. “You will!?”

He laughed. “You should see yourself; you look so happy.”

“That’s because I’m excited. This is going to be fun.”

“I’m not an experiment you know.”

“Oh I know,” I moved my hands down below. “I know very well.”

He watched me. “What are you doing?”

Did I mention I was running my hands down below my stomach?

“Experimenting.” I leaned back further, intoxicated with this newfound sexual confidence. “You want to watch?”

I felt myself, wet and eager. All I had to do was think of Daniel in more ways than one.

“Most definitely.” He said the words so robotically that I almost missed them.

“Take off your shirt,” I ordered.

He did as I told, revealing his rippling abs, toned torso, muscled chest. Every lickable inch of himself before me.

I don’t know what came over me, or how long it’ll last, but I loved every minute of it. And so did Daniel.


I was waiting to go out for dinner at Daniel’s place, when I heard keys in the front door and then the door slam shut. The bang so loud the force pulled me off the sofa. Daniel paced into his bedroom, completely ignoring my presence. My heart thudded and my palms were getting sweaty; I tried wiping them on my leather pants, but it they made it worse.

From afar, I could hear a clashing of objects upon objects happening. Keys, doors, chair; they sounded off like thuds in his room, while I stood there unsure of whether or not to approach him. In the meantime, he came storming out, straight for the kitchen. Still ignoring me. Maybe he didn’t even notice? Nah, he noticed.

He took out a bottle of stone cold vodka and a cup of ice. He took one swig from the bottle, poured a full cup, and then another sip, straight from the bottle.

Taking the cup and the bottle, he headed towards his room. “Oh, we’re not going out tonight.”

He turned his head my way but never met my eyes. I was utterly confused and I started going through a backlog of recent times I may have angered him in my mind. I couldn’t think of anything. I took off my heels and walked slowly, careful not to hit the floor with my heel, and entered his room. Well, I say ‘entered’ but I was at the doorway. He was sitting at his desk. The small desk, however tiny-looking, could fit an entire night’s worth of work.

Daniel slouched on the chair, his butt at the edge and his back hunched. His elbow on the rest, and his fingers to his lips; deep in thought. Deep in angry thought.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes as my voice registered in his mind. But all he did was huff a sigh through his nose.

“Was it something I did?” I prodded.

In response, he lifted the cup to his lips and vacuumed every drop. As tradition, he took a sip from the bottle first, poured himself another glass, and then finished with another sip from the bottle.

“Daniel, can you say something? Please?”

Daniel chugged his vodka. I’d have probably gotten a headache by now, but Daniel can take alcohol better than me. The way he was drinking now though, kind of worried me. I mean, he does drink, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so adamant to get whatever it was he wanted out of drinking so much.

He wiped his top lip with his forefinger. “I might not get the promotion.”

I was quiet.

He continued avoiding my gaze. “I worked so fucking hard for it,” he said, now sounding like he was muttering to himself. “So hard. And I was sure that regardless of your help, I’d get it. Fuck me. It might not even happen to me for another year. Maybe never! Vindictive son of a bitch.” He stood, swirling the ice-filed glass in his hand. When he attempted taking another sip, he seemingly forgot that it was empty. “God damn it!” he yelled, smashing the glass on top of the desk, blood splattering and pooling from a wound in his palm.

“Daniel, what are you—you’re bleeding!” I lunged at him, trying to pull him towards the bathroom.

He shoved me off. “Let go. Let go! I’m alright.”

“Alright!?” I called out.

“Just go,” he mumbled with a slight tinge of a warning.


“I said get the fuck out of here!”

Staring me down, Daniel’s eyes were glazed and angered. Brows cinched together in rage. Blood droplets dripping from his hand. I didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was, so I just let it go and did as he said.

Later that evening, while I was getting ready for bed, my phone gonged with a text from him. One line: ‘l’m not used to losing.’

***Hi all! I’m seriously itching to upload the posts for Wattpad; it’s major! Only 4 more CaliforniaSoulBlog posts to go before the 200th! See you soon! Soul xo***


4 thoughts on “Winning & Losing

  1. It sucks about the promotion, but Daniel should have taken it out on Anna. He has some serious apologizing to do. Being mean to her was cruel and childish. That’s more like behavior that Richard would exhibit and as such Daniel should be ashamed of himself.

  2. Interesting. Sorry that he didn’t get that promotion!! Payback is in order for boss man but with no one getting in trouble! Karma….

  3. Unfortunately, we take out our frustrations on the ones we love. He does owe her a big apology and I am sure she will get it. The whole promotion thing is BS. I hope it all works out. mum

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s