***Hi all! Here’s a BONUS post, even though no one I asked, I couldn’t wait to upload it. Clearly lol. Currently writing more posts for the Wattpad story. You’re going to find out a little more about Sophia in the next post. Hope you enjoy this one! Soul xo***
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jodie hissed as she drove me to the airport.
“What?” I squeaked.
“You can’t like two guys at once. You can’t be in love with Daniel and make out with Adam. You can’t lead Adam on and still be with Daniel. You can’t—”
I raised my hands in shameful surrender. “Alright, alright, alright! I get it.”
“I don’t think you do, Anna,” Jodie countered, shaking her head. “Are you in love with Daniel?”
“I am,” I replied without hesitation.
Even though we were somehow back to square one and growing apart, with all my heart I knew I still loved him. I mean, I never actually said we were over; I just alluded to a decline in our relationship. What if Daniel thought we were going up? He had to know there was something wrong, right?
“Then stop messing with him.”
“The Adam thing only happened once.”
“I’m not talking about Adam, here. I’m talking about the fact that you don’t know if you want to be with or without Daniel.”
“I do want to be with him. I’ve tried haven’t I?”
“Have you?” she narrowed her eyes for the moment she glimpsed my way and then back.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you mean by that?”
Jodie sighed. “Listen, I love you Anna, you have to know that. But you have to know that what you’re doing is really wrong.”
“To everyone! To Daniel, to Adam, to even yourself. Why can’t you work it out with Daniel?”
“Because I feel like we’re forcing it and faking it at this point.” I lowered my head. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Go to therapy.”
I scrunched my face. “Therapy?”
Jodie nodded. “Absolutely. If you’ve tried everything then you’ve tried therapy. It’s not such a bad thing you know.”
“What about Adam?” I mumbled.
Jodie shrugged all blasé, her nose turned up. “What about him? Who gives?”
On the five and half hours of non-stop flight from California to New York, I had a lot of time to think about myself, Daniel and Adam. There’s no denying that I’m more conflicted than ever. I was really ready to end it with Daniel but, therapy? I had never thought of it. And Jodie was right, if I’ve never tried therapy then I haven’t been trying as hard as I thought. But therapy? I’m sceptical.
What threw me into more confusion was what to do with Adam. Jodie’s first suggestion was basically to just shrug him off and focus on Daniel; but what am I to do if I, in fact, just lead him on and then drop him in the dumps. If I’m to be mature, I’d have to speak to him. I’d have to confront him and confront myself with the fears of confronting him. It was a spherical slippery mess. A glacier of problem after problem after problem sliding off like bouncing balls in every direction, hitting everyone; Daniel, Adam, Jodie; who else shall I offend?
Daniel and I left on a sour note, so when I got a call from him the second I landed I felt a deep dip of surprise in my stomach. As if I were facing off with the distance of ground level from the edge of a high cliff, my insatiable fear of heights gripping me into losing my breath. What troubled me was my catch of breath didn’t feel like the good, butterfly kind.
“Hi,” I answered.
“Hey,” Daniel’s voice slipped through clearly, “how was the trip?”
“Fine.” I wondered what to say. “How was…New York without me?”
I smiled. Little moments like these always brought him back to the next level high rise in my heart. Like he was in an elevator shift inside me, slowly climbing up, until…ding!
“Stanley was disappointed you didn’t come,” I said. “I thought you would surprise me by showing up on your own accord,” I admitted sheepishly.
Daniel chuckled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t fulfil your fantasy.”
“Couldn’t?” I bit my lip.
After a pause he said, “You’re right. Wouldn’t. I should have come. If not for them then for you.”
I hopped into a cab and gave the driver my address. “So what are you doing today?”
“Nothing. Come over.”
“It’s why I called. I want you to come over. I miss you.”
I closed my eyes, thinking of Adam. What did I do!? I made the biggest mistake of my life only because I needed comfort? Companionship? A little fleeting attention and simple affection; where Daniel has been giving it to me ever since we met? I repeated Jodie’s sentiments: what the hell is wrong with me, indeed.
“I miss you, too,” I said, not expecting it to hurt.
“So I’ll see you now then?”
“I should go home and shower off the flight, though.”
“Come and shower here. I’ll join you.” I could hear the grin in his voice, the raised tone, the tight-lip holding back a cheeky chuckle.
I smiled. Where was this Daniel before I went to California? Or was it me just jumping between mixed feelings and a straight path?
So I agreed and gave the cabbie Daniel’s address.
“Don’t be surprised if I start calling you again,” Daniel said. “You know, just to check up on you.”
What could be waiting there for me I didn’t know; what with my being so conflicted and confused and undecided, I didn’t know what Daniel’s actions were going to be and therefore my reactions.
In an effort to try and forget everything that happened between Adam and me I maintained a need to focus on Daniel; yet thoughts of Adam continued sideswiping me. Where in moments I thought it was in Daniel’s best interest to know what happened, I found a million other reasons to the contrary.
As I sat here, in the cab ride on the way to Daniel’s, my cell began blaring, blasting me out of my reverie. Daniel said he would call again. My lips curved upwards as I searched for my phone, but the name listed was not Daniel’s. Jodie’s advice to shrug Adam off was not without him shrugging me off.
Is ignoring Adam the best way out of this dilemma?