“If I knew,” Noelle started to explain, “I would have told you.”
“You know, he may have changed since you last saw him.”
I chuckled. “I doubt that.”
We were walking on the shore side by side and bare foot. Leo, Thomas and Andrea were walking in front of us, with Thomas and Andrea, the cute couple that they were, with their arms wrapped around each other. Noelle was, after Leo, apologising profusely about Frankie being here. I didn’t want to be that downer of a friend who chucked a fit and badgered everyone to go home, so I just put on a front and acted like I was okay. If my friend’s friend was a reflection of them, and that statement was true, then we have another thing coming. Leo was a good guy, and it’s obvious he’s sleeping with Noelle; it couldn’t be true. Besides, that would make me pig-headed because I have such awesome friends. What a well-balanced theory.
Thomas was a well-built guy, with too much gel in his black hair, leaking off from the hairline. But I guess I can’t complain seeing as how he isn’t my boyfriend. Andrea had wavy brown hair travelling down to the lower half of her back, and big luscious lips that I’ve seen coloured dark purple the two times I’ve met her. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, it made me smile.
“You guys were serious?” Noelle asked.
“Oh yeah, I guess it’s my fault though. I thought he was a real boyfriend.”
Noelle shrugged. “I never think it’s anyone’s fault in a relationship. It’s just the way it’s meant to be.”
I hated it when people started indirectly giving me life advice like they were a great philosopher. I mean, it’s nice and all, but sometimes I just don’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I don’t want to hear it. And I especially don’t want to hear that it’ll get better. Not because I think it won’t, which I don’t, but because it makes me think I’m giving the impression that I’m depressed. I’m sad, of course. I love Daniel. Excuse me…loved, Daniel. Oh, who am I kidding? You’re never really out of love unless you’ve fallen in love with someone else, right? No, I’m not even going to listen to that dated saying. I’m going to force myself into falling out of love with Daniel, even if it kills me.
I tore myself away from the group and shuffled into the cool water, ankle-deep. The best thing about the beach is that I can exfoliate my feet. I have the worst tickle threshold that I just can’t uphold. I wonder if Daniel ever knew that. Frankie does. Have I ever given absolutely all of myself to Daniel? The breezy air, the chill of the water ebbing around my legs, the soft sand, I can get used to this.
“Hey little lady!” I heard a shout from behind me, the voice loudening as the man grew closer.
There was Frankie. Shirtless, his creamy skin obstructed with a sleeve tattoo on the one side, beginning from the shoulder and ending to his wrist. His hair dripping wet, his whole body dripping wet. When Frankie and I were going out, he had maintained a routine workout of pizza and beer; now his once yellow stained teeth were pearly white, and his abs were protruding. I hated that the cheater ended up happier than the loyal, me.
Frankie had his arms curved and to his sides, I stance I knew very well. And while he jogged he never liked listening to music. Listening to meaningless almost random strings of noise was the key to let his imagination run wild. I sighed, the mere fact that Frankie was here before me and I began remembering everything was just evidence that I will never forget Daniel. It’s not like I want to. I just want to forget the pain of it all, is that too much to ask?
“What do you want, Frankie?” I asked as I turned my back on him and stepped away. The group now farther down the line.
“I just want to see how my favourite girl is doing,” he grinned, running in circles around me.
“I’m doing just fine, Frankie.”
“Well listen, I wanted to let you know that I wasn’t trying to be a creepster while you were sleeping or anything.”
“Yeah,” he panted energetically, “so, you know, nothing to it.”
“Wonderful. Is that all?”
“Will you just relax ice queen?” Frankie laughed, placing a hand over my shoulder and stopping me in my tracks.
I shoved his hand away. “How about you stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours and we’ll both have a great time.”
“Oh come on,” he called out as I walked. “When are you going to forget about my little indiscretion? Don’t you think it’s about time?”
Irritated, I turned back and pointed my finger like an Italian grandma ready to give the verbal beating of her life in the five different languages she knows.
“That’s just like you!”
“What?” he raised his hands, palms open and facing me, genuinely confused as he raised his shoulders.
“It’s not an indiscretion and it’s not little. I wish I could forget it, Frankie—” and I honestly wish I could forgive you just to say that I had the ability to “—but it will never happen. And all this time you haven’t actually said those couple of words that signify your remorse. Just stay away from me—”
“I’m sorry, okay!” he yelled. “I felt like shit, and I know I should, and I know I have no excuse, but I’m sorry.”
I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest, exacerbated. “Why are you even telling me this now, after all these years?”
“Well first, I didn’t have your number. And two, because…I don’t know,” he shrugged, “redemption?”
Does everyone really deserve a second chance?
“I want you to come into my room tonight,” he said, rather nervously. “I need to tell you something.”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me now.”
When he didn’t speak, for the hundredth time, I began walking away when he called out again. “Anna, I miss you!”
I stopped, smiled, and then shook off the expression from my face, replacing it with a stern look. Hands on hips, lips tight. “Are you with anyone now?” He opened his mouth and then closed it. A small squeak came out, a twitch on the corner of his mouth, as he struggled with pathologically lying and the truth. I couldn’t hold my laugh then and burst out in front of him, to both of our surprises. “Oh my God, you are unbelievable.”
“She’s not important, Anna!” Frankie yelled as I started off again, the water clashing with each of my steps.
“Yeah?” I called back. “Neither are you, honey!”
***Hi all! A couple things: first, thank you for all your comments in the previous post. As promised, the eight Wattpad posts are up and running. I very much hope you all enjoy! Secondly, I think I’m ready to reveal my other blog to you all. I’m excited and nervous and freakin’ out because non-fiction can be quite personal, not just in the writing but content as well. I thank you all for the encouragement as well, means a lot. The website encompasses anything and everything I want to write about, but please feel free to include your own opinions or even suggest anything you’d like to see, be it written or visual or both, and if you want, you can either write your suggestions in the comments section or email me. To the top right corner you’ll see a little menu button in the form of three horizontal lines, that’s where you’ll find the ‘about’ and ‘contact’ section of the blog, the calendar, and also the ‘follow blog via email’ or ‘wordpress’ buttons. I’ve also reset the comments section so you don’t have to sign in or up or are required to fill in personal details to comment. Anyone can comment, even if it’s anonymous (and please do, I’m so excited to see your thoughts!). The blog is in the very early stages and I currently have three articles up (one of which you may know already), but I assure you more than three will be posted! I hope you guys also love the design of the website, like I said, it’s quite visual! So without further ado, here’s the link to that other website, and I’ll leave you to discover the header I chose! Soul xo***