I’m Not Bad, I’m Just Drawn That Way

I’m excited. I’ve never been so exuberated with excitement in my whole life. Well, maybe I have. Most likely, I have. But starting a new chapter in life with the man I love sounds like a good time to me. Today, I woke up with a spring in my step; I was singing in the shower, dancing like no one’s watching (because no one was), and not even the presence of Brad in the elevator with me was stifling. I pretended to be on my phone, so did he; and I wasn’t even uncomfortable by it all. I had the same dopey smile since I left woke up, and not even the weird looks I received made me self-conscious enough to stop.

Like I said before, I realised I’d been worrying a lot about the little things. Like worrying about what a stranger would say when so many others show love; worrying about perversions of a somewhat corrupted cop when really all I have to do is stay far away in all respects. One just outweighs the other. I just have to keep thinking about the good things in my life. And Daniel’s better than good!

“You know that trip down to L.A?” David asked both Brad and I as we sat in his office. We nodded. “Well, that’s coming up soon. Real soon.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “How soon?”

“Next week soon.”

“And you didn’t think to tell us sooner?” Brad asked, perceptively annoyed. Good; we’re on the same page in that regard.

David sighed and leaned in over his desk, bringing his hands together. “Sorry, guys. But Amber worked faster than I expected and she has a whole line-up of interviews, press releases, and appearances that start next week. All expenses are paid by the company and it’s only until the end of this month or the beginning of the next.”

“I don’t think my duties as an assistant—”

“Anna, listen, you’re the only person who stuck to this project as much as me. You’ve been there since day one and know Brad and his book to a tee. Technically, it’s not part of your responsibilities as my assistant. However, it’d be greatly appreciated.”

Brad and David stared at me awaiting my response in silence. I’d like to say I wanted to refuse, but I really don’t. Not only is it a great opportunity to further my contacts in the business, but it’s L.A all expenses paid. The downside is that it’s a few weeks separated from Daniel and I wanted to get straight into apartment hunting. And since we’re a team, I had to speak to him about it first. At least, to have him in the know.

I gulped. “I have to think about it.”

David nodded. “Of course…but since it’s next week—”

“I know,” I cut in, “I’ll have an answer to you by Friday.”

“Earlier would be better.”

“Thursday?” I wondered.

“Tomorrow. The day after at the absolute latest, but, tomorrow.”

I sighed. “Okay.”

“Okay,” David smiled. “Thanks guys.”

Brad and I walked out side by side when Brad spoke. “You know, I wouldn’t mind some support there. You know, other than David.” He shrugged.

“David’s great on his own. He’s a good man. A great editor.”

“I mean, you know,” he lifted his brows and tilted his head downwards as if I should know. Then he rolled his eyes when I didn’t figure it out, “David doesn’t know about Lauren and Amber. It’d be great if I had someone there to—”

“At your beck and call day and night?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Hmph,” I chuckled, “if it ever comes to affecting my business, I’ll jump in, but otherwise, man up and handle your own.”

I started strutting away from him when he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back awkwardly. I waddled backwards and nearly tripped. “Hey, I’m not the guy I once was you know. You can give me some credit.”

“Oh my God,” I spat through gritted teeth as I pushed his hand away from my shoulder. “And what, you’re not bad, you’re just drawn that way?” I rolled my eyes and sighed when I realised he was staring at me quizzically. “You cannot be this self-involved! For once in your life, it’s actually not about you. I’d be happy to go but only if I don’t have to deal with any of your shit.”

“Fine!”

“Fine,” I grinned cheekily. “My decision is still not dependent on you. Bye.”

***

“So, I have something I need to tell you,” I said to Daniel, “and I have to tell you now because I only have a short amount of time.”

Daniel laughed. “Why, is the world ending sometime soon? Oh no, wait. It’s my scallops. I knew it. They weren’t that great but an apocalypse is a little drastic don’t you think?”

I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard. “Da-a—aniel!! No seriously!”

“Okay, serious,” he forfeited, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Okay.” I let out a long breath of air. “Okay. So, uhh,” (I was a little nervous), “I don’t even know how to begin, umm, well, David asked me to go down to LA for some press stuff and appearances for Brad. It’s only going to be for a few weeks, I come back beginning of next month at the latest, and it’s all expenses paid.”

“A few weeks with Brad in another state,” Daniel mused. “Hmmm this doesn’t sound like an ideal scenario for me.”

“I know.”

“What happened to looking for an apartment?”

“Well, there’s another problem with that.”

“What?”

“I spoke to my landlord and explained to him that I wanted to move out, but he said if I broke the lease I wouldn’t get my deposit back. And I knew that and all, but I thought if I spoke to him—”

“I get it,” Daniel muttered disappointedly.

There was an awkward silence before I quickly spoke. “Look, I’m totally willing to forego my deposit—”

“I can’t let you do that. And I know where this is going.”

“You okay?” I grabbed his hand.

“I’m good for you going to LA. And if I had the money and time to go with I would. Just promise me this, we’re moving in together, right?”

“Of course,” I replied without hesitation.

“It’s just, you have a bit of a habit of being indecisive.”

A heated chill ran through me. I removed my hand from his and shifted in my seat. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ugh, see, I didn’t want to say that because I knew you’d get defensive.” He stood.

“I’m not defensive,” I shrieked, rather defensively. I think they call that an oxymoron. Then, I repeated in a whisper, “I’m not defensive.”

Daniel chortled lowly at my effort to remain calm. “You couldn’t be more defensive.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, let’s give each other a set date to work towards.”

“Not a year’s time, right?” he winked in reminisce.

I tried stifling my smile. “In the New Year. We’ll look for an apartment, and by the New Year, we’ll move in.”

Daniel nodded. “Sounds good.”

I stood up in front of him. “Good.”

“Oh,” Daniel seemed to say as if he only just remembered, “I’m quitting my job. I thought you should know, you know, since it’s like ‘last minute day’ today or something.”

“What the—? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

Daniel shrugged, taking off his tie and moving away. “Because it was my decision to make regardless of what you say.”

Mmkay, did Daniel just shaft me?

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15 thoughts on “I’m Not Bad, I’m Just Drawn That Way

  1. Oh, God. SERIOUSLY? It’s like Daniel takes 5 steps forward and then 10 steps back. I just can’t with him. haha

    Anna and Daniel are SO frustrating, I truly think that they both deserve each other in that regard.

    1. I legit was going to write that. Five steps forward 10 back lol.

      He still told her, though. Doesn’t that count for something? And don’t you think it’s his choice if he wants to quit, so perhaps it doesn’t matter when he told her (?). Do you think if a week ago he told her he’s quitting that it would have made a difference?

      Thanks for commenting, keep on keeping and see you soon!

      Soul xo

    2. Another thing to think about is this: is his decision to quit her choice too?

      At what point in a relationship does every decision become two people’s choices, and not just the one person? Is there ever a point where only one of the two can make a choice that the other has no right to be involved in?

      Questions, questions, questions… 😉

      Soul xo

      1. haha! OMG SO MANY QUESTIONS!!

        I think it’s his attitude or something that rubs me the wrong way! I don’t know. The way he said he was quitting was almost vengeful. Like, “oh you’re doing this…. well, then FYI – I am doing this!” That very well may have just been the way I personally interpreted it as I read it in my head.

        I do think it is good that he at least told her. But, I feel like he KNEW for awhile that this was the path he wanted to choose (quitting). I find it strange he didn’t even mention to Anna– that I can remember- that he might want to seriously quit his job. I mean, he pretty much ruined his entire relationship with Anna because of this particular job when he didn’t get the promotion he wanted. And with them moving in together in the near future, him quitting would also effect Anna! So in that respect, I feel like his decision to quit should have at least been discussed prior to now.

        Daniel just seems like a loose cannon and I want to really love his character again…. But he makes it so damn hard!!

        Side note: I love how interactive you are with your readers!  It makes reading your blogs that much more fun!

        1. LOL question overload (sorry lol). Your interpretation is very perceptive, I must say 😉 . You do have some good points though, especially about a discussion prior. Even if it’s as simple as, “I’m thinking of such-and-such..”.

          Oh great! Glad you like the interaction, I’ve always wondered about whether or not you all like it or not. Good to know it’s received well! 🙂

          Soul xo

      2. It’s actually not just his choice anymore. As soon as he agreed to move in together it became their choice. He’s an asshole and she’s a brat. Match made in heaven lol

        1. Welcome back, Shann mack! 🙂

          But technically by that statement, then he did right by you. Because they only agreed to move in together very recently. Whereas if he’s been thinking about this decision for a while prior to discussions of moving in, then he’s not at fault for not telling her on the basis that they never agreed to move in together until now. Which means the decision is his not hers as well.

          Are you saying this decision is only relevant to Anna because they’re moving in? Had things remained the same and unchanged, would you not fault him and simply fault Anna for seemingly being bratty?

          Thanks for commenting, keep on keeping and see you soon!

          Soul xo

  2. Hmmm… Daniel is quiting his job and didn’t he get a lot of money? From his mom maybe? Why can’t he go to California?

    I think once they live together, it becomes a decision they make together. So as long as he has a job by the new year, shouldn’t be a problem.

      1. Hey Anonymous and reisingerb!

        That’s right he did get quite a sum of money and yes he can’t touch it until 3 years is up. California is due to work restrictions and money; it’s all expenses paid for Anna and not Anna plus one, unfortunately. And no one knows just why he’s quitting and what he’s going to be doing, but without spoiling the story, it won’t be a problem 😉

        Also, he is quite financially secure (and then some!) however, that was the life he had when he was at Princeton. He wanted to break away from all that and make a name for himself, and that’s when the new and improved Daniel from UCLA came into play. That security is always there for him, he just chooses not to use it and instead, go on his own. Do you think that’s an admirable or foolish character trait of his?

        Thanks to the both of you for commenting, keep on keeping and see you soon!

        Soul xo

  3. It did seem like Daniel was a bit tit-for-a-tat. It’s his decision ultimately, but I think he could have said it a bit nicer. Anna knows the crap that’s been going on and how he got hosed out of a promotion. His “so there” attitude is what is irritating. mum

    1. Good point, and nicely put!

      I wonder, though, would the perception of his attitude change if Anna reacted differently? (For instance, if she jumped up and down ecstatically and said, “I’m so happy for you!”, instead of her initial reaction? Or would it still remain that it was his attitude and the way he handled his announcement and her subsequent reaction?

      Soul xo

  4. No. Daniel did not shaft Anna. It’s his decision on whether to quit or not. I realize that she might be worried about ‘them’ paying bills but she really has no say-so concerning his employment. It might have been thoughtful to explain in better detail first before he just throws it out in the open but he’s a man and that one was his call. He may already have something lined up in NY. Give him a chance. After all I’ve read, leaving this place he’s at might not be a bad idea. There’s no room for advancement. Anna only asked how he felt about her traveling in her job since Brad isn’t good quality.

    1. What you’re saying is quite accurate and closest to what’s going on 😉

      I think that’s what everyone (including Anna) is hung up on, the fact that he never mentioned anything like this before and it’s all sprung on her in one go. And I’m glad you don’t consider his quitting a bad idea. Definitely a hard choice for some\most\all.

      Soul xo

  5. Just catching up. I’m torn with these two. It almost feels like they are afraid to let go. The chemistry that used to radiate off the screen is gone with them. Maybe it’s time for them to cut the cord so to speak.

    What happened to the handy calendar on the right margin? Makes it so much easier to catch up when some posts are missed.

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