Menopausal C****

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One of the better albeit not so evidence-backed test that a new relationship has potential to last is the meeting before meeting the parents. Meeting the friends. I was already on good terms with He Who Shall Not Be Named a.k.a Ahly’s ex-boyfriend\beat bunny, so I figured I was half in. To break the ice and make me comfortable Michael suggested I bring a couple friends to a gathering one of his friends was hosting. And by hosting I mean he had free space in his artsy loft that could account for a ton of people.

I wanted to drag all my friends to this party but only Janet and Stanley could come. On the way there I thought of Mark and texted him and when I got there he still hadn’t replied. I figured he was out busy but didn’t think too much of it.

“Hey!” I waved at Michael when I spotted him.

“Oh shit, I forgot he was cute,” Janet mumbled.

“Oh my God, like so cute!” Stanley piped in.

Janet slapped him on his chest. “Shut up and get us some drinks will ya?”

“Well, only because you said ‘please’,” he grinned at his own joke and winked at me. I giggled and stopped short when I felt a hand slide around my waist.

“Hey baby,” Michael whispered into my ear.

“Hi…” I grabbed the back of his neck as he kissed mine through my hair. When I turned around he pushed back the hair from my face and gave me a long kiss. We were that annoying couple for a moment that pushed Janet to clear her throat suggestively.

“Oh, Michael you remember Janet,” I said, wiping my lips.

“Of course, how could I forgot?”

“And her husband?” I gestured to Stanley who was holding a couple of beers. He will never learn that I don’t like beer, so I gave mine to Michael.

“Oh. That I did forget,” Michael said, unapologetically.

Stanley narrowed his eyes slightly. “That’s fine.”

Awkward. I think it was completely overlooked by Michael because he just kept getting handsy with me without a care in the world.

Later on in the night Janet, Stanley, Michael and I were chatting to a few of Michael’s friends, one of which was Brandon, a guy I regularly see attached to Michael whenever I saw them at the office. Brandon was definitely the heavy drinker, clearly with a high tolerance, he kept boasting about how it was his seventh beer and he wasn’t feeling a thing. I’m not sure if that’s an Olympic sport but apparently he’s super proud for some reason.

“…can you believe these marches that are happening? All because some people hate Donald Trump. A bunch of pussies if you ask me,” Brandon laughed.

“Nobody’s asking you, dude,” his friend laughed with him.

“Fuck off! Seriously, like why are we protesting anything anymore? World’s fucked as it is without a bunch of menopausal cunts holding signs on the street.”

“Well that’s a disturbingly vivid image,” I said.

“Exactly,” Brandon pointed.

“I meant it’s disturbing that that’s the only image you seem to have.”

Janet snickered. “You can say that again.”

“This is always what happens when politics get throw into the conversation. Don’t listen to Brandon he just likes to ruffle a few feathers.”

“As I recall, someone else likes to fuck with people, too,” Brandon eyed Michael.

“Yeah, I barely do it with politics.”

Brandon harrumphed and took a swig. “Did you go—” he pointed at Janet— “being that you’re black and all?”

“Ummm…” Janet responded.

“Hey man,” Stanley warned.

Michael dropped his arm from around my shoulder as we felt the intensity of the atmosphere grow threateningly dangerous.

“I think you had enough to drink, man,” Brandon’s friend said, laying a hand on Brandon’s shoulder.

Brandon pushed it away without taking his eyes off of Stanley. “Let me ask you something—” he leaned in and smirked— “do you gotta put on a night light on to see what orifice is where when you get down and dirty?”

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